He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
