you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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