Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
