therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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