Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
