plz talk dirty to me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
