yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
