I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
