I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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