My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Boobs are out for the taking
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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