I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
