took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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