I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
