Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
