he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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