No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
