My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
