is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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