i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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