I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
