I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
