Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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