then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
