Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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