She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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