Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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