you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
