I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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