erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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