who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
