Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
