Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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