Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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