I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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