you would pick up someone in the library
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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