How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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