What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
