i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
