It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
