Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
