It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
