I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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