I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
this will be a night to untag.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
