I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
