My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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