seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
