Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
