I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
