I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We left the knife in your bed.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
