I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
