My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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