I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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