Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He shit in the fireplace
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
