It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
