Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
