The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
