I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
