your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
