If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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